Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
