Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
