oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
