He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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