Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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