Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
