I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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