sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
