I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
