so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
