Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
