nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
