it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
