WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
