just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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