I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
