I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
