PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
