i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just want nice things and good sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
