that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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