Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
