I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
