Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
