I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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