But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
