hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
