Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
