I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
