STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
