I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
