Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so let's talk penis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
