i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
