i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
