I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The struggles of a small town man whore
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
