Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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