I like my sex mixed with concussions.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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