Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So squirting runs in the family.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
