I want to have your abortion
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
