she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
