So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
