Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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