How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
