she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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