No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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