I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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