i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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