no, he came in my armpit
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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