What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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