My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
