You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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