We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
